Bullying - advice
Any child can be affected by bullying. This can, in turn, affect those involved with that child. Children who are bullied may not be focused on learning in school and are more likely to be thinking about what will happen to them when the lesson ends. This situation can become intolerable for the child. For more advice please read on...
WHAT IS BULLYING?
Most consider bullying to be deliberately hurtful, difficult for the pupil to defend themselves against and repeated over a period of time . Bullying can extend beyond the school grounds and can occur when children are traveling to and from school, in the community and electronically.
There are three main types of bullying:
- Verbal: name calling, making insulting and offensive remarks or threats.
- Physical: hitting, kicking, taking belongings, sexual harassment or aggression.
- Indirect: spreading nasty stories, exclusion from groups, malicious rumours, sending malicious texts, e-mails or chat room comments.
INDICATORS
You may notice some or all of the following:
- Your child may refuse to go to school or may want to change their means of getting to school.
- You may notice a change in your child's school work. They may be less motivated.
- You may notice a change in your child's regular behaviour and routines e.g. eating or sleeping.
- There may be physical evidence of bullying such as damage or loss of possessions or unexplained bruises, scratches and cuts.
- The child may give improbable excuses or explanations for any of the above.
If you think your child has been bullied:
- Calmly talk to your child and reassure them that telling you about the bullying was the right thing to do.
- Make a note of what your child says as it is very important to keep accurate records. In particular, who was said to be involved; how the bullying has occurred; where it happened; when it happened and what actually happened.
- Inform the school if you have concerns that bullying is occurring. Explain to your child that any further incidents should be reported.
Strategies you can use to help your child:
- Tell them that you support them 100%.
- Advise your child to stay with groups of children
- Practice walking tall?explain that body language reflects how we feel about ourselves.
- Encourage your child to be assertive by saying ?No? or ?leave me alone? or to ignore the bullying by just turning and walking away.
The school or the Educational Psychology Service will be able to supply you with further information and guidance.
Talking to teachers about bullying
- Make an appointment to see your child's class teacher or form tutor.
- Try and stay calm! bear in mind that the teacher may have no idea that your child is being bullied or may have heard conflicting accounts of an incident
- Be as specific as possible about what your child says has happened, give dates, places and names of other children involved.
- Make a note of what action the school intends to take.
- Ask if there is anything you can do to help your child and support the school if further action needs to be taken.
- Stay in touch with the school, let them know if things improve as well as if problems continue
If you think your concerns are not being addressed:
- Make an appointment to meet the head teacher, keeping records of the meeting.
- Check with the Head Teacher to see if there is a role for external agencies to become involved.
- If appropriate, ask to see the school anti-bullying policy to check that agreed procedures are being followed.
- Discuss your concerns with the parent governor or other parents.
- If this does not help, write to the Chair of Governors, explaining your concerns and what you would like to see happen.
- Contact local or national parent support groups for advice
Parents and the Law
Parents cannot insist that another child is excluded from school due to bullying. Only the Head Teacher has the power to exclude, with the support of the Governing Body
- The Head Teacher has to act in accordance with the schools published Behaviour Policy
- The parents of an excluded child have the right to appeal for their child to return to school.
For further information and advice
Local:
Young People's Counselling Project (Bridgend Youth Service) Tel: 01656 724057
Bridgend YMCA Counselling Service Tel: 01656 654613
Bridge Mentoring Plus Tel: 01656 647891
Bridgend Samaritans Tel: 01656 662333
Bridgend Educational Psychology Service Tel: 01656 729319
National
Childline Tel: Freephone 0800 1111
Kidscape Tel: 0171 730 3300
